i don't want to be up here

but i'm the one who left voluntarily.

sometimes i have strange dreams.

it pulled me apart and piled my parts in a tin bucket, and set fire to my limbs.

Dear Sir

i've come to the conclusion that my letters will sound much more alive if i always write "worm regards" at the end. i can imagine it wriggling away from the reader as it wishes you a good day.

i drew this with my foot whilst juggling knives in one hand and vacuuming.

current status:

18 mini quiches made

2 drawings done

1 kitchen cleaned

50 out of 450 words written.

my love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

i really enjoy making lame puns.

Dentron, supreme enforcer of dental hygiene.

what if the tooth fairy collects teeth for the sole purpose of creating mega teeth monsters?

things i do not like.

phobia (n): an anxiety disorder characterized by extreme and irrational fear of simple things.

bad milk

if the fridge wasn't up for it, she wouldn't be walking around dressed like that.

jurassic car park.

I had a car accident at work the other day - i hit the car park gates trying to get out, to go on a 3 hour journey. Needless to say, they won't be letting me drive again.

story of my life.

not only do i ink on people, sometimes i even move like a squid.

of men and mushrooms.

call me bitter but this always seem to happen - i grow that mushroom into a fine fungal fruit, then someone else always takes it away from me. all i have left is the square bit of brick wall.

Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall

so i can come party.

don't go yet, i'm scared.

i miss you.

i wonder if the bird knows that he is on the elephant's mind?

mountains and molehills

mountains are much more interesting.

breaking up is hard to do.

I saw this at a train station once - this was the first time i'd ever seen this break up line used in real life.

Also, apologies - it's a little rough because i drew this on the train.